You Go, You Early-Morning Senate, You!

It is 4:26am, and the United States Senate has approved the health care bill, by a vote of 60-39. Apparently, even though I had to wake up at 3:45 just to be sure to watch the damn thing, Jim Bunning from Kentucky, the guy who actually gets PAID to do this doesn't feel he needs to show up to things like this.

Congratulations, all. Now on to merging the bills!

Hey, Liberals, Look - An Obama Choice to be Happy About!

Well, for all those out there more liberal than me [I hadn't thought there were a lot, but apparently I'm not as left-wing as I thought] who are mad at Obama from everything from health insurance reform to Afghanistan to transparency to climate change, well know we know who it was down to for his VP pick last year: Evan Bayh, Tim Kaine, and Joe Biden.

So, really, WIN! I mean, yeah it was awhile ago, and yeah, they obviously won, but WOW giving Evan Bayh more of a national stage? Or putting bland-ass Tim Kaine on a major political ticket? No bueno, at all. No sireebob.

Yeah, the foreign policy experience Biden brought to the ticket was absolutely necessary, but aside from that, I don't really like Bayh or Kaine, and Biden absolutely made things more exciting.

Obama v. Obama on Health Insurance Reform

Ezra Klein over at the Washington Post has an interesting article up on how the emerging health insurance reforms (including what's coming out of the Senate) aren't all that different from what Obama campaigned for while running for President. I'm inclined to agree with Ezra, and not just because that's a kick-ass name.

During the campaign I was a "late-adopter" when it came to Barack Obama, having decided early on to support John "Love Child" Edwards. I didn't really think he was going to win, but I felt like Edwards really had the best plans when it came to fixing our health care system. Next thing I know, Edwards is out, I'm absolutely behind Obama 100%, and he becomes out President. Next, as you may be aware, Barack Obama tackled Health Insurance Reform. It went crazy around August with ultra-conservatives driving the debate into the ground. Now we've got two bills, the House bill, and the Senate bill, and some liberals are pissed as Hell about the version coming out of the Senate, most notably Howard Dean, Keith Olbermann, and the folks over at FireDogLake.

What Obama's got now, however, is damn similar to the Edwards plan [pdf] which I was a fan of, back in the day. Would I have liked a radical change added to the Senate bill, in the form of a kick-ass public option, Tom Harkin's 55+ Medicare extension, or even Thom Hartman's Medicare Part-E [the "e" is for "everyone"]? Yeah, of course. Those are awesome ideas that really should be allowed honest open debate. But hey, it's the Senate. As long as we've got people like Tom Coburn and Sam Brownback scaring the living daylights out of the folks in their neighboring states with Democratic Senators, we're not gonna get something that massive done.

Is there still the possibility of getting things [like the Medicare extension] done through the process of reconciliation at a later date? Yes. Absolutely there is, but why do that first (and piss everyone off in the process) before getting the important laws enacted. What good is a public option if those without it can't get medical insurance because they were sick once-upon-a-time? That's ridiculous and needs to stop.

The bill we've got now, while certainly not perfect, is a giant step in the right direction for this country.

P.S. And don't even get me started on how good passing the bill is regarding next year's midterms.

Exhausting

I am so completely sick of talking about Health Insurance Reform. I'd really like to move on, and be able to talk about something else.

The Senate bill's a mess, the process is far from over, and it is ever farther from perfect. This stopped being anything but taxing a long time ago, and I'd like something else now thank you very much.

What's my happy-land imaginary scenario? I don't know anymore. There's too much in the bill that's good, and we've come much too far for me to say it's good to kill the bill. But the individual mandate isn't good if there's no real cost control, and no real prevention of medical-induced bankruptcies.

UGH.

Afghanistan is Not Fun to Think About for an Entire Day

I really wanted to devote a blog entry here to my thoughts and opinions on Afghanistan, and what I wanted to hear, going into Barack Obama's speech tonight. Then I had to work and didn't have time to do this before now.

Today was a hugely educational day for me. For some reason, a number of people have asked me what I think, which was flattering, but also eye-opening. I don't really "do" military policy. I don't learn about it, and I don't second-guess it. Y'know, unless it's a ridiculously, blatantly wrong-headed policy that has actual knowledgeable people (like former generals) out in the news saying "Whoa! No! Baaaaaad policy!" The way I see it, I don't know the entire hush-hush backroom, top-secret intel story, so maybe people who do know that have an idea of what's going on. Also, frankly, my friend's two sons are in the military, and one is currently in Afghanistan. The thought of sending him, or the children/brothers/sisters/mothers/fathers of anyone else into harm's way makes me physically ill.

BUT... I always feel like I should be informed, especially once people start asking my opinion about things, so I ran around the Internet on my phone all day. I read the text of Obama's speech. I read numerous foreign-policy-themed blogs. I read domestic-policy blogs. I found comments from all sorts of elected representatives.

So when I got this email from a friend, I felt comfortable enough to come up with a response.

On Tue, Dec 1, 2009 at 6:25 PM, Swarley wrote:

Hi DailyBlerg,

I just watched the President's speech on Afghanistan, then decided to watch FOX News to see how they were spinning it. Bill O'Reilly and Karl Rove were going on about how Obama is jeopardizing national security by setting a withdrawal date, and how he only committed to send a quarter of the troops requested by military leadership. Do you know if the latter is an accurate statement? The MSNBC commentary does not seem to be much better. It seems he pissed more people off with his decision, than he made happy. I'd like your thoughts, if you get a chance. Thanks.

Swarley

Here's my response, in full, because I'm too damn tired to come up with it all again:

Hi Swarley,

So first of all, let me just say that I was working tonight and couldn't watch the speech. However, I did read the text of it on my fancy Internet-phone, and then read some of my blogs to understand what all those highfalutin foreign policy words mean. Second of all, I don't generally delve to deeply into military policy, so I'm in just little over my head.

That being said, from everything I hear the highest number ever thrown around as to what General McChrystal was asking for was [at most!] 40,000 troops. For Obama's thirty-thousand-troop escalation to be a quarter of the request, McChrystal would have needed to have been asking for... one hundred and twenty thousand troops. I'm almost entirely sure that would be A.) insane and B.) not actually possible.

From to the Washington Independent [11/18]:

According to information compiled by the U.S. Army for The Washington Independent about the deployment status of active-duty and National Guard Army brigades, as of December 2009, there will be about 50,600 active-duty soldiers, serving in 14 combat brigades, and as many as 24,000 National Guard soldiers available for deployment. All other soldiers and National Guardsmen will either be deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan already or ineligible to deploy while they rest from a previous deployment.

So, yeah, looks like Bill and Karl were lying, go figure.

Also, just general feelings about the escalation? This whole thing's kinda dumb, and I don't necessarily believe that the US is facing a credible threat from people hiding in caves between Afghanistan and Pakistan, but if that's true (which it could be since I am not privy to high-level intelligence briefs), this seems like a darn reasonable way of going about things.

Plus: timetables are always a good idea, both to get our troops home and to show that idiotic Karzai administration they need to get their act together.

Okay, that's all! Sorry if that's more than you wanted, it was suuuuuper slow at work and I had a lot of time to think about this!

~DailyBlerg

So that's what I think, in a nutshell. If we want to even remotely stabilize Afghanistan, the right way to do it is by working with actual human people populating the area instead of just blowing them all to hell. John Garamendi, the recently elected Congressman from CA-10 says that we can't make any progress over there unless we are actively working to help rebuild Afghanistan's infrastructure and get a real education system in place. Having seen Charlie Wilson's War, I agree, but the McChrystal everybody-arm-in-arm approach seems like the closest thing we've got to that right now.

You know what, I'm tired. I can't think about this anymore today. Tomorrow I just want to make fun of Chuck Grassley all day, and calculate electoral college politics.

So much easier.

Happy Monday, Back to Work!

Happy Monday, everybody! Good weekend? Was it full of partying and gloating over the United States House of Representatives passing a health care reform bill? Good, I know mine was!
Now it's Monday, though, and party time is over. Why? Because attached to the HCR bill that passed the House Saturday night was a little piece of crap amendment called the Stupak Amendment, named after Bart Stupak (D-MI). The Stupak Amendment makes it so that no federal monies can go to abortions. Alright, you might say, who cares? Poor women asking for government-run health care can't get abortions? Boo hoo, a small price to pay for massive health insurance reform.
Well, hold your horses, dear reader. The way this amendment is worded makes it so that private health insurance companies have an incentive to not provide abortion coverage if they accept federal subsidised payments (which is key to lowering costs for all Americans).
Well crap, you're now saying, are we totally screwed? A-ha, no! Okay, well, maybe, but not nescesarily by any means.
The Senate still needs to pass a health care bill (and that floor debate is supposedly going to begin this week), and then the two bills need to be reconciled, and then that reconciled bill needs to be approved by both houses of Congress.
Where does this get better? In the reconcilliation process, god willing. Which all comes down to this: it's that time again, time to call your Senators and tell them that you don't support passing health care reform by stripping away women's rights.
Let's do tis, people!

Here's the Senate switchboard number, fyi: (202) 224-3121 and have fun!

Profile in Courage

This is why the House of Representatives is my favorite.

Nancy Pelosi, Steny Hoyer, and Jim Clyburn did some kick-ass whip counting, and passed massive, meaningful, historic health care reform tonight, 220-215.

Sadly, they attached an evil stupid amendment called the "Stupak Amendment" and I'll get to that tomorrow. Right now, it's party time America. It's not perfect, but it's a leap in the right direction. Public schools aren't perfect, but getting an education is standard in this country, and we're looking at that now in terms of health care.

Congratulations everyone who worked hard for this, y'all rock!

The Answer is "Yes"

Greetings one and everyone. I've got a question for you. Has it been a long time since this I've updated this blog?

Well, FEAR NOT! I'm back in action. Let's not waste time congratulating myself for coming back to my computer, alright? I know it's a big deal, but your prayers have been answered. Let's move on, shall we?

What has happened lately, folks? Anything interesting in the country? Well, first of all, San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom and his wife have brought home a lovely baby girl, who they decided to name "Montana," after the state in which the Newsoms were married. Obviously I will now be supporting Jerry Brown in his 2010 gubernatorial bid, as Gavin Newsom apparently doesn't have the type of decision-making skills required of the top official in the state.

That's obviously not the most important thing going on these days, but really, it should worry you.

In other news, South Carolina is full of crazy people, someone named "SerenaJoeKanye WestWilliamsWilson" is rude and unpleasant, television shows are coming back for the fall, Glenn Beck has an army of crazed nutjobs ranging from 50,000-2million people, health care is still a mess, ACORN is apparently an H&R Block with a 'pimps & hos' theme, the USA became the last industrial democracy to have the death penalty, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST I updated my blog finally.

Tomorrow President Obama goes on a massive PR offensive talking up health insurance reform, which should give us plenty of great video to go over, present to you, and chat about. Thanks for visiting!

Bait-and-OMGLOOKTHEY'RESTILLUNREASONABLE!

Over the weekend, the Obama Administration came out and said that they would be fine with dropping the public option in health care reform.

Republicans, who have been adamant that the public option must be dropped, responded by saying "NO! It still is a government take-over, even if it doesn't include the government taking over!" (...which really doesn't make any sense, but alright, sure.)

Then, today (and to a lesser extent on Monday, too) the administration comes out and says "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's not what we're about. We're fans of the public option!"

What does this mean?

Well, you can look at this two ways.

First, you can look at it, and think that the Obama Administration doesn't have it's act together at all. Maybe they can't get their stories straight, and maybe they should sit down and think things out before any of them say anything to anyone ever again.

OR, you could think that the administration is... clever. What if this was a co-ordinated Machiavellian move by some administration higher-ups to point out that Republicans don't want health care reform. Maybe this could be used as a weapon against Republican politicians who constantly say that they're in favor of reform, while in practice, they are not.

The second option would sure be nice, but I can't go out and just say that's what's going on. Wouldn't it be nice though, if the administration took this and ran with it? Wouldn't it be nice if they stopped haggling with people over something they actually don't want to try to change?

Let's get it through the Senate without a public option, let's get it through the House with one, and let's SHOVE IT THE HELL THROUGH in the process of reconciling the two bills.

Please?

My "Humble Request"

Greetings, one and everyone!

I'm sure by now you've seen coverage of all these health care reform protests. People with signs denouncing "socialism" and all that. While I find them to be... somewhat misinformed and uneducated regarding what Socialism actually is, protest is a valuable part of our democracy.

You know what isn't valuable? Turning someone into a caricature of evil, a threatening being out to kill your loved ones and everything you hold dear. "Hold on!" You say, "That's just part of the debate!" No, it's not part of any useful debate, and, frankly, it's starting to scare me.

What happens when we start demonizing people way beyond the scope of their influence? What happens when we label doctors "murderers" or call reporters "Nazis" and the like? What happens, time and time again, is that we make it easy for the whack-a-do fringe in this country to justify "putting down" these "evil-doers."

Sure, no one who goes on cable news networks say they want to be interpreted in this way, but in reality, all that this kind of hyped up rhetoric is doing is scaring the crap out of everyone and encouraging people to bring assault rifles to town hall meetings, for God's sake. Why do people kill other people? Because they think they have a valid reason. Regardless of whether or not that reason is seen as "a-OK" by everyone else in the world, these people have their reasons. War, self-defense, protecting others, God [or Whoever]'s Will, to rid us of people "screwing up America," or whatever else, these people think they have valid reasons.

Depicting the President of the United States of America as Hitler? As the Joker? Saying the President has a hatred for a ethnic group? Joking about poisoning the Speaker of the House? These are problems, and they don't do anything to help further the debate. What this sort of dialogue does is it dehumanizes it's subjects to such an extent that they are no longer real people in the eyes of a number of people.

It's not productive, it's hateful, it's misinformed, and it's dangerous.

Anyway, I'd like it to stop now. Kthnxbai.

I Ain't Got No Title for this One

I've wanted to update this for awhile now, but every time I sit down to write something, I've come up against this problem:

Healthcare is the news lately. I have a fully-formed opinion when it comes to health insurance reform, and anyone who will read this isn't far enough on the other side of the spectrum to get into the nitty-gritty about it.

It's not that I don't care about healthcare reform, I do. It's just that I don't have anything helpful to contribute to the conversation that hasn't been said and hashed out a hundred times already. You want my opinion? Find the most leftest Democrat still considered "main stream" and that's me. Howard Dean, Russ Feingold, John Kerry, Rahm Emmanuel, Ted Kennedy. These are not ideas that you haven't heard, and it's hard for me to feel like I need to shove this down your throat, dear reader.

States' Rights? We Don't Need No Stinkin' States' Rights!

Do you know who John Thune is? You probably should, because, apparently, he's totally insane.

John Thune is the junior United States Senator from the great state of South Dakota, and recently the senator introduced an amendment which would allow someone who had obtained a conceal-carry permit in one state to walk over to a state without conceal-carry laws WITH A HIDDEN WEAPON.

Right, because the party of small government and states' rights doesn't give a rat's ass about the rights of states to make their own laws regarding what you can do in said state. So here comes John Thune, walking along, thinking "He! Whoa! You know what we need more of? We need WAY more concealed weapons! Especially in places where they don't WANT concealed weapons! Awesome!" What Thune said out loud, however, on the Senate floor, was this:

"I say to my colleague from New York that if someone who has a concealed carry permit ...in the State of South Dakota [who] goes to New York and is in Central Park - Central Park is a much safer place,"

Really? Really, Mr. Thune? You've got a lot of experience with New Yorkers, huh?

Well, not to worry everyone! The amendment was defeated in the Senate, failing to pass by TWO VOTES. Two votes away from being able to carry concealed weapons across state lines. Holy God what the Hell is going on in this country?

"What's Wrong With Being Sexy?" "IST, Sex-IST."

Sarah Palin. She ran for Vice President of the United States of America in the 2008 election, as the latter half of the McCain-Palin ticket against the Obama-Biden ticket. The final vote, come election day had the Democrats winning 52.9% [with 365 electoral votes], to the Republicans' 45.7% [173 in the electoral college]. So, regardless of your political leanings, it's safe to say that the Obama-Biden folks won, and the McCain-Palin folks lost.

Sure, if you're a republican, you must be pretty bummed out, but at least it's not confusingly traumatic like, say, the 2000 election was.

Remember that? How it dragged on and on in the courts, until it was finally decided at the US Supreme Court that George W. Bush was going to be our next President? Yeah, that was fun. One of the things I always remember is how people [Republicans] held up signs parodying the Gore-Lieberman logo, saying Sore-Loserman. It seemed somewhat mean-spirited, since there seemed to be actual questions regarding what-the-heck-is-going-on.

Flash-forward to the present. Here we've got Sarah Palin, running around, screaming her head off to anyone who will listen about how the media caused her downfall, hijacked the campaign, and basically cheated her out of the Vice-Presidency.

Here's what I want to know:

Why is everyone treating her with kid gloves? Because she's a woman, we can't point out that she's acting like a lunatic? If Al Gore and Joe Lieberman were sore losers for trying to have votes counted, then certainly Sarah Palin is just as bad for blaming everyone but herself for her loss.

Blaming the Katie Couric, and the Democrats, and Steve Schmidt, and Tina Fey, and bloggers instead of saying "Oh, well, okay back to work, I'll be back next time." is just downright whiny.

Then, as if that didn't make you look weak enough, you want to quit your job? That's... sad, really. That's all it is. Sad. Well, frustrating, hypocritical, and kooky. But also sad.

That is all.

Betty, When You Call Him, You Can Call Him Senator

Well, it's been a long, long time coming, but funnyperson-turned-seriousperson Al Franken is now officially a United States Senator. Norm "Million Teeth" Coleman is gone gone GONE! and an SNL alum is now a member of an even more ridiculous group of people.

What sort of world are we living in when Al Franken is entering public life, acting like a mature, responsible adult, and the former Republican Vice-Presidential candidate is leaving her elected office, whining like a petulant child. Maybe Piper should calm her down?

What a world.

::UPDATE:: 10:56am

Hey, here's the video in case you missed it.

Sarah Palin is "Totally Over It"

In a breathy, confused, rushed, paranoid statement today, Sarah Palin [nitwit - Alaska] announced she won't be running for re-election for Governor of Alaska, and, what's more, she will be stepping down before the end of her term.

So, hey.

I seriously, honest to God, have no clue what she was thinking by talking like that, and I really hope to God she'll be done with this nonsense.

But NO! She won't! Because she's comitted to running around, spouting insanity without the pressure of holding down a job. Following in the steps of Newt Gingrich, huh? How... lovely.

Really though, watch the video. She sounds absolutely crazy. Like someone is holding a gun to her heard or something. What the Hell. Enjoy!

Here's the Problem

I got home from some time away from the world, I sit down to write here, on this blog, I check the news, and I get informed.

Oh, Iran. Yeah.

And then I lose my sense of humor for writing about, say, John Ensign's sexy-fun-time. The Iran situation is, frankly, way beyond me. We take everything about our political system for granted in this country, and seeing a country bust apart like this is, really, one of those "watching history happen" moments.

So, here's my big Iran statement: I hope everything works out for the Iranians.

Yeah, wow, that was earth shattering. Really though, it's sort of heartbreaking, if you think about it. People have lost their lives, people are putting their lives in danger, and it feels like saying "in the name of the democratic process" is... not right. I don't know much about Iran, I only started learning about it last week, in the run-up to the election. What I do know, however, is that these people are committed, and... it's a big deal. It's moving, and... yeah.

Kay, fuck it, I'm out.

Stayed tuned, however, for a post about how John Ensign's penis is nobody's business!

He's Totally Straight, I Swear

Look! Over there! It's Charlie Crist, announcing his Senate bid and reminding everyone that he has a WIFE who is a WOMAN all in the same tweet!

Christ that's small. Bummer. Well, anyway, OMGIT'SOFFICIAL! Cool! My favorite southern, tan, unquestionably straight, youngish governor wants more of a nation-wide type of persona! Cool! He's certainly a fun guy, and since he's going to skip right along to an easy win, we might as well just accept it and move on.

Oh, in totally unrelated news, there's this new movie coming out, Outrage, about outing closted gay elected officials who have anti-gay voting records. Totally unrelated,  swear.

Remember When...

Hey everybody, remember way back in the day when a giant airplane flew low in the skies over New York and scared the Hell out of thousands of people? By which I of course mean,

Hey, remember the super screwed up Air Force One photo op? Sure ya do! Well, guess what! The fella who thought that flying giant airplanes through New York City was a good idea is resigning, because he is, in fact, an idiot and can't do his job. Right on, Whit House Military Office Director Louis Caldera! Now you're one of the nation's popular "unemployed" clique, which makes you "one of the cool kids," because, let's face it, everybody's doing it (losing their jobs).

Just to smooth things over, though, we get to see the picture!

See? There it is! And look how gorgeous AF1 looks flying high above... NEW JERSEY? Oh, cool, you scare the Hell out of everyone and DON'T EVEN GET A GOOD PICTURE? Yeah, have fun finding your next job, Louis.

OMGLEAVEHIMALONE

Oh haiiiiiiiiiiiii, Arlen Specter! How are you? Good? I'm glad. How do you like being the center of attention? No? You don't like it? Have you noticed that people TOTALLY ACT LIKE DOUCHEBAGS?

Arlen Specter became a Democrat last week, and in doing so, apparently pissed everybody off. On Countdown with Keith Olbermann tonight, Keith took out of context a comment made by Senator Specter, and, based on that, labeled Specter a DINO - Democrat in Name Only. So here's what happened, and some background:

First of all, you should know that Arlen Specter is funny. Really, he is. Also, he thinks he is. He does stand up sometimes. REALLY, I SWEAR TO GOD:

Yeah, so that's him. Then, the man agreed to an interview with The New York Times Magazine and this exhange took place:

Q: With your departure from the Republican Party, there are no more Jewish Republicans in the Senate. Do you care about that?

A: I sure do. There's still time for the Minnesota courts to do justice and declare Norm Coleman the winner.

Q: Which seems about as likely at this point as Jerry Seinfeld's joining the Senate.

A: Well, it was about as likely as my becoming a Democrat.

So, yeah that's what happened. What did Keith Olbermann take away from this?

"OMG ARLEN SPECTER TOTALLY IS GAY FOR NORM COLEMAN!"

No, that's not actually a quote. I jest. Basically, however, that was the gist of it. Arlen Specter is a schmuck, and lies, and undermines the Democratic Party every day. Fine, don't trust him, he was, after all, a Republican just a little over a week ago. Let's not make things up though, alright?

Thanks!

Hate Crimes, Veterans, and SCOTUS Vacancy

Long time, no see! So much has happened in our time apart, so let's sum up the biggest, most interesting things, shall we? Yes, we shall:

A.) Hey, look! Maine is totally gay for opposite opposite-marriage! So is D.C. [maybe?]!

II.) Known crazy-person Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) has a challenger for her seat in next year's election! Everyone on the left is torn about this, because, oh, that's right, she's so TOTALLY insane that she exists solely for entertainment, and is no sort of threat to anyone [except maybe her neighbors.]!

3.) Oh, yes, David Souter (self-loathing Supreme Court Justice) wants to get out of awful-crowded-grumpy Washington and head back to the woods to live out the rest of his days climbing mountains and eating apples.

Four.) Republicans hate hate HATE Barack Obama's nominee to replace Souter, even though no such nominee exists.

e.) Arlen Specter is now a Democrat! Again! Which means a number of things, the most notable of which is: nothing is really changing.

Wow, what a few weeks, huh? In other news, Representative Virginia Foxx (R-NC) is a godless infidel who should be defeated for reelection as soon as humanly possible (next year). Over the course of debating the "Matthew Sheppard Hate Crimes Bill" she argued that Mr. Sheppard wasn't killed because he was gay, which is... a total lie. Opposing hate-crimes legislation is a totally understandable position in certain respects [you can't legislate against some one's thoughts, etc.] but to come out and slander a boy who was murdered just because you don't like a piece of legislation is a horrible, horrible thing to do. 

To put that out there for his parents, who have already been through so much, is really very not-okay. So, Virginia Foxx, you, unlike Michele (the idiot) Bachmann are actually a target now, way to go! Anyone else feel like going on a trip to North Carolina in 2010?

In other news, Paul Rieckhoff of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America is circulating IAVA's new ad, "Signs," and for some reason his goal is to have 100,000 hits by mother's day (which is this coming Sunday, in case you didn't know and now need to run out and get flowers or something). So, to do my part because I think the IAVA is an amazing organization, tied for first place in my absolute-best-American-organization contest with the ACLU, here's the video for your viewing pleasure:

And, just cuz I think they're so great, here's their best ad yet, "Alone"

Different View on Perversion

I was sitting in my car, minding my own business. Well, minding the people's business, listening to conservative talk radio. You might say I was asking for it. You might. Okay, I was. The whole reason I listen to conservative talk (even though I tell people it's so I know "what the other side is saying") is to get really mad about stupid people saying stupid things.

Regardless as to why I was tuned to that particular station, there I was. The host was talking about the recent li'l to-do over Miss California in the Miss USA pageant saying something stupid (What? Something stupid from a beauty pageant contestant? No way!). Apparently, Perez Hilton was one of the judges, and he got to ask Miss CA a question.

"Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalize same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?" Her answer? "I think it's great that Americans are able to choose one or the other. We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and my family I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there but that's how I was raised and that's how I think it should be between a man and a woman." 

Now, let's ignore for the moment the fact that she thinks it's called "opposite marriage," and move right along.

The radio show host I was listening to played the clip and then went on for a few minutes about Perez Hilton's presence at the Miss USA pageant. 

Apparently, having gay men there, looking at and judging women in gowns and bikinis is, according to the host (I didn't catch his name), perverted. In his day, he said, you would just have young sexy women on stage to be judged to see who the prettiest gal in the country was.

How is that not perverted? Personally, regardless of whether or not Miss California's answer was awesome, not-awesome, hateful, or idyllic, I think it's good that we've got Perez and other folks there not just to take mental pictures to "enjoy" later. Having homosexual males there [the host said he "totally would understand if we were talking about lesbians"] makes the whole thing seem, in a way, LESS disturbing. In a way, it sort of legitimizes the whole thing. 

Anyway, the guy on the radio was a perv. That's my point.

Kim Jong-Il is a Pushy Little Bastard

Dear Kim Jong-Il,

Okay. Sorry about the whole Korean war thing. "Fighting" communism, driving your people into more and more poverty through sanctions and shit. But seriously, stop launching rockets. Alternatively, you could stop lying about why you're doing it, which would at least be honest.

Kthnxbye.

Been a Long Time, Been a Long Time, Been a Long Lonely Lonely Lonely Loney Time

It's April. It's been quite awhile since I've posted here, and that's because I was... out of town [read: totally forgot all about it].

Has anything happened while we were away, you ask? "Without your updates, I have no clue what's going on in the world!" I hear you shout. I reply thusly: "That's sad. Also, no."

Yes, that's right folks! It just so happened that NOTHING AT ALL happened lately. Oh, I could write about how the evil, uppity Obama people went over to Whitesville or Whitehaven or whatever [England] and assaulted the Royal Person.  But that would require my acknowledging that people are talking about that, and I would rather vomit.

Michelle Obama also, apparently, wears clothing. [I KNOW!] Which is also BIG NEWS these days, which must mean the economy is fixed and everybody has jobs and houses and stuff.

Oh, but look! Noted short-person Kim Jong-Il wants attention again. The world isn't giving him any, because he is short. Also, he is crazy and wants to kill everyone ever, so maybe we should watch out.

And that pretty much sums up the week, sadly. Two non-stories, and an actual story nobody wants to think about. Don't worry, though, Monday will more than make up for it by having some dumb kid that knocked up some girl he knew on the Tyra show to talk about it, and blame the girl's mother for also being dumb. Also.

OMG HE IS A PERSON!

Wait, this is really a thing? I know I was busy over the past couple of days, but normally I pick up on things like this.

In case you are not aware, some of the most interesting actual right-wing talking points include:

*Obama is not a citizen, and therefore is unqualified to be President

*Obama is a bad public speaker, and we're lucky if he can say "Hello" without his teleprompter

*Obama has never had a job

And now, apparently, during my oops-shit-I-have-a-mild-case-of-social-life, Barack Obama went on teevee's 60 Minutes, and he didn't, y'know, start crying or throwing up when talking about the economy and instead had something of a human reaction, so he is a JERK and dosn't know what he's doing. Here's a nifty video from Media Matters, showing how weird this whole mess is. Enjoy!

Happy Thursday, or, Fun with Puns!

Thursday seems like a good enough day for the first post of the week. I mean, why not, right? So anyway, I hate to break it to you, but America's Lover, Barack Obama, is just not that into some of you. 

First, he declared war on the developmentally disabled, and now the man hates all you stoners. As someone who lived in Santa Cruz, and has known a HIGH [ha!] number of stoners over the years, and has had to listen to their political leanings, this could be a huge HIT [ha!] to Obama's support there. The stonerriffic crowd will no doubt be incensed over this latest BURN [ha!] by the President. At least the remark was only made at a town hall meeting, and not at a JOINT [ha!] SESH [ha!] of congress. First, the President can't BOWL [ha!] and now he is even less a man-of-the-people. 

Now, some people think these comments get blown out of proportion by the media and commentators, so people don't focus on the real issues. Are these just SMOKE [ha!] and mirror tactics to get everyone to keep their heads out of the game?

With the global economy ABLAZE [ha!] and multiple wars being fought, Americans are just SITTING ON COUCHES STARING AT THEIR TVs, EYES BLOODSHOT, EATING SNACKS, WHILE MAKING JOKES ABOUT marijuana ON THE INTERWEB. [ha!]

Only Different!

Well, it's Monday again, only this time, there is a distinct lack of finger-pointing! Yay! President Obama and his favorite boyfriend, Tim Geithner, talked a bunch about a bunch of stuff. Mostly money stuff. Obviously, I am uninterested with this, so I will just leave you with this part.

HEY LOOK THE MARKET RESPONDED!

Take that John "Fake Tan" Boehner!

If You're Reading This

You should know that your President [/terrorist/muslim/foriegner/mesiah] will be apearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight, on NBC, because they are in the tank for the Pretender-in-Chief.

Apparently, some Republicans in Congress [okay, 1 guy] thinks that Barack Obama is being a big, mean, jerk by ignoring everything bad EVER, and going off to California to galavant with some big-chinned phony.

-42 - 1 = -41

There is a bill, currently in the state assembly, to legalize marijuana in the state of California. It is AB-390, and it will be voted on on March 31st, and I am sick of the reasons stupid-ass stoners I know are using to justify the fact that they want to be able to get high all the time and not get in trouble.

Yes, I know all the reasons for making weed legal, and I get that it is probably the best way to actually fight the "war on drugs." HOWEVER. Pretending that legalizing marijuana is a good way to help save our ailing Californian economy. We have a $42 billion projected state deficit. Taxing pot will bring in, maybe, at most, $1.5 billion? That still leaves [heh, leaves] us $40.5 billion in the hole. So please stop saying it will save us. Also: we have legal medical marijuana. So stop bringing them into this. Sick people can get their drugs, so they're a-ok, especially now that the Obama justice department is going to reverse the Bushian policy of not-respecting-State's-Rights. All good on that front.

Basically, what it comes down to is that people want to smoke drugs and get stoned, and not deal with their lives, and apparently, as a state, we feel like that's a good idea.

Personally, I hope the bill fails, but regardless, can we get people to start being honest instead of pretending to have far-flung altruistic motives?

Kthnxbi

AIG BAD!

So, once again, the teevee newsies are obsessed with big, bad, A.I.G. giving away OUR [you, me, other taxpayers'] money! Damn them! AND their bonuses!

Yes, okay, the bonuses ammount to .001% of what we've actually GIVEN A.I.G., but still, that's... okay, it's a waste of time. Everyone's angry, and, yes, A.I.G. is totally a criminal in all this. And yes, they helped cause this whole mess. And yes, those folks working there CERTAINLY do not deserve any sort of "extra" money, since they don't actually deserve more than... say, beatings[!] or something. But the point is that getting all that horrible, horrible bonus money back doesn't really mean much of anything. There's so much more to be worrying about, or trying to fix. Maybe, for instance, not handing out all this money every few weeks, perhaps? OR: real things! Jobs, infrastructure, jobs, education, jobs, healthcare, jobs, and of course, jobs.

Shamrock and Roll!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, everybody! I had someone ask today [in a snooty way] if I know why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day here. Duh, it's cuz it's AWESOME.

No, but seriously.

First of all, the snake thing is malarkey. St. Patrick did nothing with snakes. St. Patrick was the enlightener of Ireland, and his feast day (March 17th) is celebrated because of this. Did you know St. Patrick wasn't even Irish? It's true! He was a Welshman! Ireland became his home after being kidnapped and sold into slavery at 16. He was there, doing the whole slave thing, for about six years, until he escaped. Then he became a Christian, entered the priesthood, and headed over to Ireland to do missionary work. Cuz Ireland is awesome, and anyone who goes just HAS to go back!

St. Patrick's Day celebrations in the good ol' US of A date back to the 1700s. Were you aware that George Washington [yes, THAT one] gave the Irish troops in the continental army a holiday on March 17th, to show solidarity with the Irish in THEIR fight for independence. Since, y'know, we ALL hated the British at that point.

Thus endeth the lesson! Go get drunk!

Awww, MAN!

Our Barack Obama is going to be in California on Thursday, sitting down with Jay Leno, doing that Late Nite thing. This will be the first time a sitting president has done a late-night talk show, but, unfortunately, this means anyone interested in seeing the President talk and laugh and stay up late, will have to sit through Leno's not-funny monologue and all the rest of this crappy show.

Mondays are for Pointing Fingers!

Have you ever sat down to watch Monday news during the day? In political news, at least, Mondays exist for pointing fingers about what came up over the weekend.

Hey, AIG! You want some money? Have some! Give it to CEOs! You know what they'd probably appreciate, while you're at it? Some bonuses! You know, the ones we said we'd stop giving them! They'd like those, please!

It turns out nobody likes these thieves and their thievery, and wants to have someone's head!

Also, apparently, Andrew Cuomo wants to start subpoenaing AIG bonus-recieving-bastard roll lists. EVERYONE IS PISSED.

Ft. Meyers, FL

My God, he's brilliant.

President Obama, today was in Florida with Governor Crist, talking to the masses of unemployed, getting cameras there, getting the upset, sad, poor-as-crap Americans screen time. This is totally what he needed to do, to change the debate on the Hill. 

REFRAMING-THE-DEBATE-AS-WE-SPEAK!

"Just Like the Good Old Days"

Barack and his team are finally fighting back.
According to Robert Gibbs at the White House press briefing today, they're hitting the road, "pulling out all the stops" as one reporter put it.
It's about damn time. If there's one thing everyone can agree on, it's that Barack Obama is a good talker. Let's get him out there, converting popular opinion on the stimulus bill! If people don't like it, it's because they don't understand it. The President can make the case for stimulus and job creation without coming across as boring, or "preaching" the way, say, John Kerry would. The President of the United States is our most valuable weapon, and it's time we use him! Let's take that mandate out for a spin, no more trying to get House Republicans to change their [stupid] minds.

Oh, and Also

Also: Judd Gregg made his Governor promise not to replace him with someone with a different party afiliation. So, unless the Governor wants to look like a jerk publicly, the make-up of the Senate will stay the same. 58-41. Or, actually, 56-41-2, but whatever.

Oooooookay, Seriously, Stop It

Dear President Obama and Pals,

Hey, remember "vetting?" Yeah, sure you do. It's that thing where you take someone you want to nominate to a certain position, and you "investigate to discover... if there are any problems." Sounds fairly easy. So please do some of that.

~EVERYONE EVER

Come on, though. I'm getting a little sick of this "not knowing" there was going to be a problem with someone who hadn't paid a whole bunch of taxes being nominated to do something the opposition in the Senate doesn't want done in the first place [health care reform]. If we want to get this stuff accomplished, we need to have people in charge not bogged down in tiny squabbles over unrelated things. Daschle's tax problems have NOTHING to do with being able to make decisions regarding health care. However, Senate Republicans are AGAINST health care overhaul, so they'll take down anyone trying to accomplish that by any means necessary. And rightly so, if they think it's bad and wrong and evil. It's how the game is played. But we really need to start playing it better. We need people who cannot be objected to. People who are so squeaky clean that the debate has to focus on actual issues instead of character problems, like being a tax cheat.

Judd Gregg for Commie Secretary?

There's rumours on the internets tonight that Barack H. Obama will nominate Senator Judd "double-letter" Gregg to fill the post of commerce secretary nominee, vacated by possible New Mexican criminal, Bill Richardson.

What's noteworthy about Judd? That whole "I've got an R next to my name" thing is highly significant, given where Mr. Gregg hails from: New Hampshire. Who is the Governor of New Hampshire? The guy elected to fill Senate vacancies, should one occour? Why, it's none other than John Lynch, a card-carrying Democrat! How very exciting!

Gregg's replacement, should that appointment come to pass, would almost certainly be a Democrat, bumping the balance of power in the Senate to 59-40. What's that you say? "59-40? That's not enough Senators! There's supposed to be one hundred!" Well, right you are, avid reader! What's going on with that missing seat? It's up to debate in the legal system of Minnesota! Al Franken has abso-fucking--lutely won the seat fair and square, but Norm Coleman (R-Douchebag) has decided to challenge the thing all the way through the courts just to waste everyone's time. 'Cause he can.

60-40! 60-40! Possible super-majority! What would this mean for the long run? More bills passing congress, and general bragging rights. Also, things are not looking too good for Republican chances next year in four or more of the 19 Republican seats. On the other hand, the Dems will have 17 seats in play, only 2, mayyyyybe 3 truely competitive races to defend.

I'm saying that it's gonna end up 62-38 after 11/2/10 has  come and gone. Which doesn't really do much more than say "Fuck you, Joe Lieberman, you matter even less than you did before! Go cry about it, why don't you?"

Nice.

The GOP's Ever Speedy March to the Brink of Madness

Yesterday, President Oath-Flubber went to the Hill to talk with Congressional Republicans about what the Hell is it that they want in terms of things that will get them to stop wishing our Great Leader ill. Obama today says that he's confident the Democratic-sponsored stimulus bill will pass, but Republicans led by John "Boner" Boehner brought their own counter-bill to the House, just to screw with everybody.

Let's get this straight: "No! No spending! Debt is suddenly something that the GOP feels strongly about! Really, we do! C'mon, you guys a trillion is tooooooooooooo much! Ick!" 

The next day... "Unless we are the ones proposing it, because then we give more money to our donors, instead of it going to useful things, like, we don't know, jobs, or other liberal BS."

Would someone please point out to John Boehner that he is an incompetent moron? He doesn't seem to fully grasp that, even though from the very millisecond he took over as House Majority Leader in February 2006, Republican numbers in the house have, how can this be put nicely? Dropped like a stone? Just peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooowwwwwKERSPLAT, like that. They had many, then they had few. And it ain't getting any better. Majority opinion seems to be that they are running around like chickens sans-heads, but that's the way our boy Boehner likes it.

Heckuva job, Boner.

Swear to Gald

Okay, for real this time:

TheDailyBlerg is up and running. Systems are now GO. Full speed ahead, all that jazz.

Happy aniversaweek, Obamerica! You've had seven days, now where's our money? 1,454 days of [less-than-] SecretMuslim socialism to go. 

Inauguration Day

Somehow it never really felt real before now. It's been a big, celebratory day, filled with happy champagne, so I don't really feel like writing a ton here, but here goes:

We really fucking did it. We really fucking did it. He's the HONEST TO FUCKING GOODNESS President of the United States. REALLY. For serious. No Bush. No Palin. No McCain. No Mittens. No crazy bullshit people in charge. We've got real people, with realy brains, and real ideas, and real real real ways to behave in a civilized world.

NO MORE DICK CHENEY!!!! ADIOS, DARTH A-HOLE!

Racist Dems Not Racist No Mo

In a sort-of-making-amends-type-of-fashion, Harry Reid [he of anti-black Senator fame] met with possible-Senator Roland Burris to talk about maybe following the law and letting Burris hang out with the cool kids on Capitol Hill. In his statement, Reid called Burris an "extremely nice man," which so totally not something relevant to being a Senator, thank you Mr. Racist Mormon. Hopefully this will all be over soon so real news will be talked about, like that other non-determined Senate race, or Ann Coulter being banned-not-banned from NBC. 

...or that Gaza thing, but who cares about that, anyway?

Roland, Roland, Roland...

I'm sorry everybody. Really. It sucks, I know, but the sitting Gov of Illinois appointed Burris to the Senate, taint and all, and there's nothing more to it. Everybody dropped the ball in terms of getting him [Blago] out of office in time to prevent an appointment, and he blew everybody off and did the darn thing anyway. "What a punk!" you might say to yourself, Mr. Reid. But that's kinda all you get to do. Sorry, but rules are rules. That's gonna be an awkward Senatorial lunchroom in a couple of weeks. I just see Harry and Roland sitting over their coffee, looking sheepish. Blerg.

Spy vs. Why?

Leon Panetta was tapped by Prez-Elect Obama to be the head of the CIA. Despite Sean Hannity's point that Panetta says he didn't know about the whole Lewinsky mess while White House Chief of Staff (y'know, right under his nose), there is significant griping from high-ranking Dems (Feintein, Rockefeller) that Panetta doesn't have any sort of security background. And yeah, okay, maybe he doesn't, but a good point was finally made today by Rachel Maddow on Countdown, that appointing someone who Senate leaders (who signed off on torture, wire-tapping, etc.) don't like doesn't really matter. 

They get to have their say when it comes to hearings and the like, but no, BO doesn't need to actually run things by these people who worked with the Bush Administration on these controversial issues. 

I was unclear about how I felt over here about the Panetta pick, but now I think I'm in favor of it. I don't like career spy guys, and the position is basically bureaucratic. It's important to have someone giving BO the right info, not someone who is prone to "intel failures" due to differences in opinion over what's important.

The Youngest Congressman

Today saw the swearing in of Aaron Schock, the man charged with representing the 18th congressional district of Illinois in the 111th United States Congress. Why is this interesting, you ask? Aaron Schock is twenty-seven years old, and is the first member of congress to be born during the Regan Administration. It makes me feel old.

Way to Go! You Did It!

Thanks, Bill Richardson. Thanks for making all of your fans look like idiots. We really appreciate the help. How 'bout we all just refrain from appointing people to positions just because some lobby wants us to. Maybe that'd be a good idea, right? Damn you all.

Status of Forces

The DailyBlerg will return in it's own Daily-esque fashion on Monday, January 5th.