OMG HE IS A PERSON!

Wait, this is really a thing? I know I was busy over the past couple of days, but normally I pick up on things like this.

In case you are not aware, some of the most interesting actual right-wing talking points include:

*Obama is not a citizen, and therefore is unqualified to be President

*Obama is a bad public speaker, and we're lucky if he can say "Hello" without his teleprompter

*Obama has never had a job

And now, apparently, during my oops-shit-I-have-a-mild-case-of-social-life, Barack Obama went on teevee's 60 Minutes, and he didn't, y'know, start crying or throwing up when talking about the economy and instead had something of a human reaction, so he is a JERK and dosn't know what he's doing. Here's a nifty video from Media Matters, showing how weird this whole mess is. Enjoy!

Happy Thursday, or, Fun with Puns!

Thursday seems like a good enough day for the first post of the week. I mean, why not, right? So anyway, I hate to break it to you, but America's Lover, Barack Obama, is just not that into some of you. 

First, he declared war on the developmentally disabled, and now the man hates all you stoners. As someone who lived in Santa Cruz, and has known a HIGH [ha!] number of stoners over the years, and has had to listen to their political leanings, this could be a huge HIT [ha!] to Obama's support there. The stonerriffic crowd will no doubt be incensed over this latest BURN [ha!] by the President. At least the remark was only made at a town hall meeting, and not at a JOINT [ha!] SESH [ha!] of congress. First, the President can't BOWL [ha!] and now he is even less a man-of-the-people. 

Now, some people think these comments get blown out of proportion by the media and commentators, so people don't focus on the real issues. Are these just SMOKE [ha!] and mirror tactics to get everyone to keep their heads out of the game?

With the global economy ABLAZE [ha!] and multiple wars being fought, Americans are just SITTING ON COUCHES STARING AT THEIR TVs, EYES BLOODSHOT, EATING SNACKS, WHILE MAKING JOKES ABOUT marijuana ON THE INTERWEB. [ha!]

Only Different!

Well, it's Monday again, only this time, there is a distinct lack of finger-pointing! Yay! President Obama and his favorite boyfriend, Tim Geithner, talked a bunch about a bunch of stuff. Mostly money stuff. Obviously, I am uninterested with this, so I will just leave you with this part.

HEY LOOK THE MARKET RESPONDED!

Take that John "Fake Tan" Boehner!

If You're Reading This

You should know that your President [/terrorist/muslim/foriegner/mesiah] will be apearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno tonight, on NBC, because they are in the tank for the Pretender-in-Chief.

Apparently, some Republicans in Congress [okay, 1 guy] thinks that Barack Obama is being a big, mean, jerk by ignoring everything bad EVER, and going off to California to galavant with some big-chinned phony.

-42 - 1 = -41

There is a bill, currently in the state assembly, to legalize marijuana in the state of California. It is AB-390, and it will be voted on on March 31st, and I am sick of the reasons stupid-ass stoners I know are using to justify the fact that they want to be able to get high all the time and not get in trouble.

Yes, I know all the reasons for making weed legal, and I get that it is probably the best way to actually fight the "war on drugs." HOWEVER. Pretending that legalizing marijuana is a good way to help save our ailing Californian economy. We have a $42 billion projected state deficit. Taxing pot will bring in, maybe, at most, $1.5 billion? That still leaves [heh, leaves] us $40.5 billion in the hole. So please stop saying it will save us. Also: we have legal medical marijuana. So stop bringing them into this. Sick people can get their drugs, so they're a-ok, especially now that the Obama justice department is going to reverse the Bushian policy of not-respecting-State's-Rights. All good on that front.

Basically, what it comes down to is that people want to smoke drugs and get stoned, and not deal with their lives, and apparently, as a state, we feel like that's a good idea.

Personally, I hope the bill fails, but regardless, can we get people to start being honest instead of pretending to have far-flung altruistic motives?

Kthnxbi

AIG BAD!

So, once again, the teevee newsies are obsessed with big, bad, A.I.G. giving away OUR [you, me, other taxpayers'] money! Damn them! AND their bonuses!

Yes, okay, the bonuses ammount to .001% of what we've actually GIVEN A.I.G., but still, that's... okay, it's a waste of time. Everyone's angry, and, yes, A.I.G. is totally a criminal in all this. And yes, they helped cause this whole mess. And yes, those folks working there CERTAINLY do not deserve any sort of "extra" money, since they don't actually deserve more than... say, beatings[!] or something. But the point is that getting all that horrible, horrible bonus money back doesn't really mean much of anything. There's so much more to be worrying about, or trying to fix. Maybe, for instance, not handing out all this money every few weeks, perhaps? OR: real things! Jobs, infrastructure, jobs, education, jobs, healthcare, jobs, and of course, jobs.

Shamrock and Roll!

Happy Saint Patrick's Day, everybody! I had someone ask today [in a snooty way] if I know why we celebrate St. Patrick's Day here. Duh, it's cuz it's AWESOME.

No, but seriously.

First of all, the snake thing is malarkey. St. Patrick did nothing with snakes. St. Patrick was the enlightener of Ireland, and his feast day (March 17th) is celebrated because of this. Did you know St. Patrick wasn't even Irish? It's true! He was a Welshman! Ireland became his home after being kidnapped and sold into slavery at 16. He was there, doing the whole slave thing, for about six years, until he escaped. Then he became a Christian, entered the priesthood, and headed over to Ireland to do missionary work. Cuz Ireland is awesome, and anyone who goes just HAS to go back!

St. Patrick's Day celebrations in the good ol' US of A date back to the 1700s. Were you aware that George Washington [yes, THAT one] gave the Irish troops in the continental army a holiday on March 17th, to show solidarity with the Irish in THEIR fight for independence. Since, y'know, we ALL hated the British at that point.

Thus endeth the lesson! Go get drunk!

Awww, MAN!

Our Barack Obama is going to be in California on Thursday, sitting down with Jay Leno, doing that Late Nite thing. This will be the first time a sitting president has done a late-night talk show, but, unfortunately, this means anyone interested in seeing the President talk and laugh and stay up late, will have to sit through Leno's not-funny monologue and all the rest of this crappy show.

Mondays are for Pointing Fingers!

Have you ever sat down to watch Monday news during the day? In political news, at least, Mondays exist for pointing fingers about what came up over the weekend.

Hey, AIG! You want some money? Have some! Give it to CEOs! You know what they'd probably appreciate, while you're at it? Some bonuses! You know, the ones we said we'd stop giving them! They'd like those, please!

It turns out nobody likes these thieves and their thievery, and wants to have someone's head!

Also, apparently, Andrew Cuomo wants to start subpoenaing AIG bonus-recieving-bastard roll lists. EVERYONE IS PISSED.