I moved to San Francisco in August of this year, and I'm now at San Francisco State. It took me a long time for me to get here, and I only just yesterday realized that every single little thing over the past few years led me to where I am now (a place I'm very happy with, thank you very much). Let's go back:
In 2004, I graduated from high school (home-school high school, but still). I started at the College of San Mateo in August, and it was... okay. I liked being at a school, and I finished that semester with As and a B (if I recall correctly). That spring, I had more classes, as is what happens. In February, I got kicked out of my mom's house. It ended up only being for a week, but it was still a fairly unpleasant experience. I spent a night at my step-dad's house, and then spent the rest of the time at my friend K's house on her family's couch. I ended up having a meeting with a therapist and my mother, and I got to move home.
Around this time I was dating a girl I somewhat liked, and it was going fairly well. Spring break rolled around, though, and I found out she'd cheated on me. Things, surprisingly, didn't go well from there. However, it lingered, which drew thing out and left me a little pissed at the world, and took it out on my education. I skipped some classes, and I didn't do as well as my first semester.
Summer happened, during which I made up one of my math classes from the spring. August rolled around eventually, and I got kicked out again. This time it lasted a little longer. I lived at my friend M's house, in her guest room, for a few weeks, until she went back to school. I got progressively more upset about things, and made more bad decisions. I hung out with some less-than-desirable folks, as you do when you're young, I guess. I stayed on K's couch again for awhile, and then I lived in my friend S's mom's house's garage/room for awhile. In all honesty, I stayed there longer than I should have. I had trouble finding a job that paid enough money to get my own place, but finally, in November, I moved out to my own apartment. It wasn't the best. I lived with some people I didn't know who were somewhat off-putting. For instance, they once went to Paris for two weeks, and I didn't notice they were gone until two days before they got back. The whole thing was weird.
Aside from that, though, I was living in my own apartment, I could have people over, and I did. My best friend J came over all the time, and we watched TV and skipped school. We were both at CSM and, while I shouldn't speak for her, neither of us liked being there and being "left behind" by people going away for school. So I failed some classes, mostly due to not having shown up a few times, the being too scared to return.
In the spring of 2006 I had a sit-down with my mother and we negotiated a return home to save some money in order to take advantage of my school's study abroad program that coming fall. If I hadn't been so unhappy with what had been going on, there's no way I would have even considered going away. But I did. I spent the fall of 2006 in London, and it was amazing. I made a lot of friends (most of whom I don't talk to anymore, but one of whom[?] is still in my life and is awesome), and had a good time in general.
During my semester away, J moved down to Santa Cruz with her boyfriend and another friend. She told me that I should move down there with them once I got back, and in January of 2007, I did. It was, at first, rough. I couldn't find a job, I didn't really know many people, and I was just awkward about the whole thing. Finally it took off, though, and I was really enjoying myself. I had a job I liked, I had friends I liked, and I was having fun. Fun was probably the biggest motivating factor at that time, which is probably why I didn't get anything productive done. I wasn't going to school, and I wasn't doing much of anything. 2007 ended with me living up in the Santa Cruz mountains, with some friends, sequestered away from the real world. 2008 began much the same way, only this time I started seeing a girl (L). It was more of the same, fun fun fun, no school, blowing off work whenever possible, generally avoiding any sort of responsibilities if at all possible. I wasn't really happy, but I was having fun.
Then my friends and I had a fight. It was big, it was unpleasant, and I ended up driving wedges between myself and them just to make sure things didn't go back to how they were. It was incredibly immature, but hey, so was I. L and I broke up, and it was a huge mess eventually. Long, drawn out, and unpleasant, at least for me.
So, at the end of 2008, I moved back in with my family to get a fresh start, and thank God I did. I was depressed for awhile, which turned out to be a good thing. If I hadn't been depressed, I would have gone out and got a job. If I'd had a job for the first half of 2009, I wouldn't have been able to say "yes" when I got a phone call asking if I could be on staff at Camp Cazadero summer camp for two weeks.
After that, I found a job, I got back to school, and finally took it seriously. I passed my classes, and I got into SFSU.
Finally, 2010 showed up. Things were going well. I was hanging out with people from Caz more than before, I was working, and eventually I moved to SF. If hadn't taken so long to find my way here, things would certainly not have lined up as well as they have. Who knows where the people I love most would be, or where I would, for that matter. Probably not in the same place, though. If I hadn't taken the long way, I never would have directed summer camp last year, and I wouldn't be friends with the people I got to know there.
So here comes 2011. It's looking like it should be a great year. I'm looking forward to it, and I'm hoping to stay thankful for all the little things that got me to where I am. Even though some of them were highly unpleasant at the time (some still are unpleasant just to think about), they got me where I needed to be to be in this place now. So thanks, universe, for lining things up so well. I hope it keeps trending up for next year.
